Alan Bergmann obit

Alan Bergmann Has Died

 

He was not on the list.

New York-born actor and television director Alan Bergmann (17 October 1927 – 31 August 2017; age 89) played Lal in the Star Trek: The Original Series third season episode "The Empath".

Prior to this, Bergmann appeared on the television series The Nurses, starring fellow Original Series guest actor Stephen Brooks. Bergmann also guest-starred in an episode of The Wild Wild West and an episode of The Big Valley, both of which also guest-starred Paul Comi. In 1967, Bergmann appeared with Paul Fix in an episode of The High Chaparral, a Western series which starred Henry Darrow. Later television appearances include guest spots on Bracken's World (co-starring with Booker Bradshaw and Madlyn Rhue), Mission: Impossible (with Leonard Nimoy, Sid Haig, Susan Howard, James B. Sikking, and Paul Sorensen), Search (with Malachi Throne), Mannix (with Leslie Parrish, Celeste Yarnall, and a two-parter with John Colicos), and Wonder Woman (with Harris Yulin).

Bergmann also had a few films to his credit, including Black Like Me (1964, with David Huddleston), Welcome Home, Johnny Bristol (1972, with Brock Peters and John Hoyt), and Turbulence (1997, with Catherine Hicks).

Director

Ron Canada and Cynthia Lea Clark in Stat (1991)

Stat

7.7

TV Series

Director

1991

1 episode

 

The Hitch-Hikers (1989)

The Hitch-Hikers

6.9

Short

Director

1989

 

Elliott Gould, Natasha Bobo, Scott Grimes, Katie O'Neill, Ke Huy Quan, and Dee Wallace in Nothing Is Easy (1986)

Nothing Is Easy

6.8

TV Series

Director

1987

1 episode

 

Mr. Belvedere (1985)

Mr. Belvedere

6.6

TV Series

Director

1987

2 episodes

 

What a Country (1986)

What a Country

6.4

TV Series

Director

1987

1 episode

 

James Cromwell, Loni Anderson, Jack Elam, Dana Ivey, and Lee Weaver in Easy Street (1986)

Easy Street

6.9

TV Series

Director

1986

1 episode

 

Harry Anderson, Selma Diamond, Ellen Foley, John Larroquette, Charles Robinson, and Richard Moll in Night Court (1984)

Night Court

7.7

TV Series

Director

1985

7 episodes

 

Randy Josselyn, David Kaufman, Carol Mansell, Kyle Richards, and Dick Sargent in Down to Earth (1984)

Down to Earth

7.3

TV Series

Director

1984–1985

4 episodes

 

T.K. Carter and Richard Gilliland in Just Our Luck (1983)

Just Our Luck

7.6

TV Series

Director

1983

3 episodes

 

Goodnight, Beantown (1983)

Goodnight, Beantown

6.9

TV Series

Director

1983

1 episode

 

Norman Fell, Lynn Redgrave, Tim Reid, Jean Smart, Joel Brooks, Teresa Ganzel, and Steve Ryan in Teachers Only (1982)

Teachers Only

5.6

TV Series

Director

1983

1 episode

 

Martin Balsam, Carroll O'Connor, Danielle Brisebois, and Jean Stapleton in Archie Bunker's Place (1979)

Archie Bunker's Place

6.4

TV Series

Director

1983

1 episode

 

Michael J. Fox, Justine Bateman, Meredith Baxter, Tina Yothers, and Michael Gross in Family Ties (1982)

Family Ties

7.3

TV Series

Director

1982

2 episodes

 

Private Benjamin (1981)

Private Benjamin

6.1

TV Series

Director

1982

2 episodes

 

Ron Carey, Max Gail, Ron Glass, James Gregory, Steve Landesberg, Hal Linden, and Jack Soo in Barney Miller (1975)

Barney Miller

8.3

TV Series

Director

1982

2 episodes

 

House Calls (1979)

House Calls

6.6

TV Series

Director

1981–1982

4 episodes

 

Harper Valley P.T.A. (1981)

Harper Valley P.T.A.

6.6

TV Series

Director

1981

1 episode

 

Pat Klous, Connie Sellecca, and Kathryn Witt in Flying High (1978)

Flying High

6.5

TV Series

Director

1978

1 episode

 

Jamie Lee Curtis, John Astin, Bond Gideon, Richard Gilliland, Melinda Naud, and Dorrie Thomson in Operation Petticoat (1977)

Operation Petticoat

6.5

TV Series

Director

1977–1978

4 episodes

 

Actor

Of Light and Darkness (1998)

Of Light and Darkness

6.5

Video Game

Father Zdonius

Lecturer

1998

 

Turbulence (1997)

Turbulence

5.0

Mr. Kramer

1997

 

Swamp Thing (1990)

Swamp Thing

6.3

TV Series

Dr. Richard Parnell

Ronald Parker

1993

1 episode

 

The Ring of the Musketeers

TV Series

Peter's Father

1992

1 episode

 

Adventures in Odyssey (1987)

Adventures in Odyssey

8.4

TV Series

Bill Kendall (voice)

1992

1 episode

 

William Conrad in Nero Wolfe (1981)

Nero Wolfe

7.2

TV Series

Aaron Keller

1981

1 episode

 

Lynda Carter in Wonder Woman (1975)

Wonder Woman

7.0

TV Series

Director

1977

1 episode

 

Jo Ann Harris, Shelly Novack, and Robert Stack in Most Wanted (1976)

Most Wanted

6.9

TV Series

Jim Clendennon

1976

1 episode

 

Spencer's Pilots (1976)

Spencer's Pilots

7.1

TV Series

Dr. Hanley

1976

1 episode

 

William Conrad in Cannon (1971)

Cannon

6.8

TV Series

Ben Grovner

1976

1 episode

 

Lee Majors in The Six Million Dollar Man (1973)

The Six Million Dollar Man

7.1

TV Series

Mister Burman

Charles Lund

1975–1976

2 episodes

 

Noah Beery Jr. and James Garner in The Rockford Files (1974)

The Rockford Files

8.2

TV Series

The Doctor

1975

1 episode

 

Days of Our Lives (1965)

Days of Our Lives

5.3

TV Series

Dr. Strother

1974

7 episodes

 

Mike Connors in Mannix (1967)

Mannix

7.4

TV Series

Voice of Caller

Colonel Alan DuPar

Jerry Vane ...

1969–1974

7 episodes

 

The F.B.I. (1965)

The F.B.I.

7.4

TV Series

Dr. Bane

1974

1 episode

 

James Brolin, Robert Young, Barbara Sigel, and Elena Verdugo in Marcus Welby, M.D. (1969)

Marcus Welby, M.D.

7.0

TV Series

Dr. Manners

1973

1 episode

 

The Streets of San Francisco (1972)

The Streets of San Francisco

7.3

TV Series

Old Age Home Director

1973

1 episode

 

Bob Denver, William Cort, Ivor Francis, Jeannine Riley, Lori Saunders, Forrest Tucker, and Lynn Wood in Dusty's Trail (1973)

Dusty's Trail

5.2

TV Series

Klaus von Schmitt

1973

1 episode

 

Carola (1973)

Carola

6.6

TV Movie

Pierre Ducroux (as Alan Bergman)

1973

 

Anthony Franciosa, Doug McClure, and Hugh O'Brian in Search (1972)

Search

8.0

TV Series

Rolf Wentzel (as Alan Bergman)

1972

1 episode

 

Welcome Home, Johnny Bristol (1972)

Welcome Home, Johnny Bristol

7.8

TV Movie

Shusler

1972

 

Barbara Bain, Martin Landau, Peter Graves, Peter Lupus, and Greg Morris in Mission: Impossible (1966)

Mission: Impossible

7.9

TV Series

Lt. Gov. Harve Harrison

Colonel Antoine Benet

1970–1972

2 episodes

 

John Banner, Robert Clary, Bob Crane, Richard Dawson, Ivan Dixon, Larry Hovis, and Werner Klemperer in Hogan's Heroes (1965)

Hogan's Heroes

7.8

TV Series

Major Martin

Hans Strausser

1971

1 episode

 

Raymond Burr and Barbara Sigel in Ironside (1967)

Ironside

6.9

TV Series

Pierre Bouver

1970

2 episodes

 

Stefan Arngrim, Gary Conway, Kurt Kasznar, Deanna Lund, Don Marshall, Don Matheson, and Heather Young in Land of the Giants (1968)

Land of the Giants

7.1

TV Series

Krenko

1969

1 episode

 

Bracken's World (1969)

Bracken's World

6.8

TV Series

Dr. David Saks

1969

1 episode

 

Bonanza (1959)

Bonanza

7.3

TV Series

Mr. Gordon

Gilly Maples

1966–1968

2 episodes

 

Star Trek (1966)

Star Trek

8.4

TV Series

Lal

1968

1 episode

 

Leif Erickson, Linda Cristal, Henry Darrow, Cameron Mitchell, and Mark Slade in The High Chaparral (1967)

The High Chaparral

7.6

TV Series

Major Anderson

1967

1 episode

 

Ben Gazzara in Run for Your Life (1965)

Run for Your Life

7.6

TV Series

Jeffry Willins

1967

1 episode

 

Lee Majors, Barbara Stanwyck, Linda Evans, Peter Breck, and Richard Long in The Big Valley (1965)

The Big Valley

7.6

TV Series

Macklin

1967

1 episode

 

The Rat Patrol (1966)

The Rat Patrol

7.4

TV Series

Krieg

1967

1 episode

 

Robert Conrad and Ross Martin in The Wild Wild West (1965)

The Wild Wild West

8.1

TV Series

Claudio Antille

1966

1 episode

 

12 O'Clock High (1964)

12 O'Clock High

8.1

TV Series

Maj. Ernest Holtzer

1966

1 episode

 

James Whitmore in Black Like Me (1964)

Black Like Me

6.6

Charles Maynard

1964

 

Light Fantastic (1964)

Light Fantastic

7.6

Bill

1964

 

Zina Bethune and Shirl Conway in The Doctors and the Nurses (1962)

The Doctors and the Nurses

7.4

TV Series

Dr. Cagle

1963

1 episode

 

Benita Evans in CBS Repertoire Workshop (1960)

CBS Repertoire Workshop

TV Series

1960

1 episode

 

CBS Television Workshop (1952)

CBS Television Workshop

6.5

TV Series

1960

1 episode

 

West Point (1956)

West Point

6.9

TV Series

Connecticut State Trooper (as Alan Bergman)

1956

1 episode

 

Roscoe Karns in Rocky King, Detective (1950)

Rocky King, Detective

7.6

TV Series

1954

1 episode

 

Additional Crew

Prison Life (2001)

Prison Life

8.5

Short

adr loop group

2001

 

Self

Michael Aspel in This Is Your Life (1955)

This Is Your Life

6.5

TV Series

Self

2003

1 episode

Rollie Massimino obit

Rollie Massimino, 82, Dies; Rode Dark Horse Villanova to Basketball Glory

He was not on the list.

Rollie Massimino, who coached Villanova University to one of the greatest upsets in N.C.A.A. basketball history, the defeat of powerful Georgetown to win the 1985 national championship, died on Wednesday in hospice care in West Palm Beach, Fla. He was 82.

Villanova announced his death on its website.

Massimino, who struggled with lung cancer and its complications in recent years, had coached through last season at Keiser University in West Palm Beach, where he came out of retirement to found its basketball program in 2006 and turned it into a small-college power.

Keiser was the final stop in a long career that began when he was a high school coach. But it was at Villanova, where he led the men’s team for 19 years and compiled a 481-375 record, that he was catapulted to fame as a fiery sideline tactician, fond of inspirational speeches that drew on his Italian heritage.

In 1985, Villanova was a good team from a powerful Big East Conference, but with 10 regular-season losses it considered itself fortunate to be selected for the N.C.A.A. tournament. The Wildcats were seeded eighth in their region.

The Wildcats proceeded on a run of narrow victories, including by two points over Dayton, four over Michigan and three over Maryland in the early rounds.

By the time the team slipped past Memphis State in the national semifinals at Rupp Arena in Lexington, Ky., Villanova had the look of a Cinderella team. But its Big East Conference rival Georgetown and Patrick Ewing, the team’s all-American center, loomed in the title game, and few people gave Villanova much of a chance against the Hoyas, who arrived for the showdown with a gaudy 35-2 record and a national title already under their belt.

Massimino was known for his ability to confuse opponents with zone defenses, but it was a painstakingly deliberate and efficient Villanova offense that was the difference in its 66-64 victory over Georgetown. The Wildcats made 22 of 29 shots that night, or 78.6 percent, including 9 of 10 in the second half.

“As close to the perfect game as any team has ever played, ever,” P. J. Carlesimo, who coached Seton Hall, another Big East team, told Sports Illustrated in 2015.

Massimino remained at Villanova for seven more years, though he had almost left to accept the head-coaching job with the New Jersey Nets. When he did leave, his relationship with Villanova cooled, and two subsequent unsuccessful seasons at Nevada-Las Vegas ended with the revelation that his contract agreement had violated state guidelines.

His next job took him to Cleveland State, where he had only mild success during a seven-year run that was blemished by player disobedience and institutional dysfunction.

In basketball circles, it is believed that Massimino, while a finalist this year for induction into the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame, had been denied entry because of his post-Villanova years, a stretch in which he never returned to the N.C.A.A. tournament.

Moreover, in March 1987, the Villanova championship was marred by a Sports Illustrated cover article in which Gary McLain, the point guard on the title team, revealed that he had been high on cocaine during much of that 1985 tournament run. He said he had long used cocaine and marijuana and implied that his coach and university knew, a suggestion that Massimino always denied.

Roland Vincent Massimino was born on Nov. 13, 1934, in Hillside, N.J., the son of Salvatore and Grace Massimino. His father, an Italian immigrant, was a shoemaker.

Rollie Massimino graduated from Hillside High School and went on to the University of Vermont, where he played for the basketball team for three years. He earned a bachelor’s degree in education there in 1956 and a master’s equivalent in health and physical education from Rutgers University in 1959.

He married Mary Jane Reid in 1958. They retired to Florida after he was fired by Cleveland State in 2003, but Massimino soon grew bored with playing golf. Then he received a telephone call one day from someone he knew from his first head-coaching job, at Stony Brook University on Long Island. It led to his being lured to Keiser, then known as Northwood University, to help begin a basketball program there.

In 2015, Mary Jane Massimino told The New York Times: “He was going down to be a consultant. The next thing I knew, he was coaching.”

Soon after, Massimino announced that his team would play its inaugural home game against Villanova, coached by his former assistant there, Jay Wright. This was news to Wright, who had helped mend the relationship between Massimino and the university that he had put on the nation

Bobby Boyd obit

Former Sooner and Colts star Bobby Boyd dies at 79

He was not on the list.

Bobby Boyd, who quarterbacked OU to 1958 and 1959 Big Seven championships then became an all-pro defensive back for the Baltimore Colts, died Monday. He was 79.

Boyd played nine seasons for the Colts and produced 57 interceptions, which was third in NFL history when Boyd retired. Boyd’s total remains tied for 13th to this day.

Boyd came out of Garland, Texas, and played defensive back and quarterback for those late-‘50s Sooners of Bud Wilkinson. Boyd rushed for 960 yards and passed for 653 yards as a Sooner.

But it was as a safety that Boyd became known in the NFL. He was first-team all-pro in 1964, 1965 and 1968. The Colts made the NFL championship game in ’64 and won it in ’68.

Boyd often has been on the list of players most deserving to be inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame. He retired from playing after the ’68 season to join Don Shula’s Baltimore staff. Boyd coached five seasons with the Colts and teamed with legendary quarterback Johnny Unitas in the Baltimore restaurant business.

Boyd retired to his hometown of Garland in 1986.

If Boyd had played a couple of more seasons, his interception total likely would have been in the 60s, and he would have joined Unitas in the Pro Football Hall of Fame.

“It's always easy to second guess,” Boyd told The Oklahoman in 2005. “I kick myself in the rear end sometimes.” But “jobs just don't open up every year. I was torn. I wanted to coach.”

Jud Heathcote obit

Jud Heathcote, who coached Michigan State to NCAA title, dies at 90

He was not on the list.

Jud Heathcote, who led Magic Johnson and Michigan State to the 1979 NCAA championship, has died. He was 90.

The school says Heathcote died Monday in Spokane, Washington.

Heathcote won three Big Ten titles and appeared in nine NCAA tournaments during his 19-year career at Michigan State. He got his start as a college head coach in 1971 at Montana, where he spent five seasons.

Heathcote's Spartans squad led by Johnson won it all in 1978-79. Spartans coach Tom Izzo was hired by Heathcote and was promoted to replace him when he retired in 1995.

Izzo said the basketball world is a sadder place because of Heathcote's death, and no one cared more about the welfare of the game than his mentor.

"He was a coach's coach and a mentor to many," Izzo said. "Our hearts are filled with sadness and deepest sympathy for his wife, Beverly, and the Heathcote family."

Izzo helped the Spartans win their second NCAA basketball title in 2000 and often leaned on Heathcote for advice, counsel and humor.

"Without a doubt, he was one of the most influential people in my life, giving me a chance when no one else would," he said. "Any coaching success I've ever had is because of him. Long after he left Michigan State, he was still one of the first people I would call when I had a tough decision in coaching or life."

After he left coaching and moved to Spokane, Heathcote embraced retirement.

He enjoyed golf -- he lived across the street from his county club -- at some of the area's top courses. He also played handball with a group of friends -- and often went out for beers afterward -- until his mid-70s, when his health began to fade.

He said he needed time to grow comfortable with the adjustment.

"The first couple years [of retirement], I'd go to games and I'd sit there and second-guess the coaches on why they were doing this or weren't doing this," he told ESPN in 2014. "I think it was kind of a hard transition."

He also remained tied to the coaching fraternity.

For years, he had a monthly lunch date with Gonzaga coach Mark Few at Jack & Dan's, a Spokane bar formerly owned by Jack Stockton, the father of Utah Jazz legend John Stockton.

"Jud was first and foremost a good and loyal friend to me," Few said in a statement later Tuesday. "He was also a great mentor to me and a large number of coaches who leaned on him in good times and tough times. He taught me that you could win at the highest level and still abide by all the rules and keep your core values intact.

"He was a fierce guardian of our game and stood for what was right. He also had an incredible sense of humor and delivery that could capture a room, and it is all those laughs together that I will remember the most!"

Throughout his retirement, Heathcote attended the bulk of Gonzaga's home games and watched Michigan State's games on TV. Heathcote said Izzo allowed him to remain connected to the program, even when he was challenged by his predecessor.

"I was always a good Monday morning quarterback in football and basketball," Heathcote said three years ago. "I'd sit there and second-guess Tom, naturally. We talked every week during the first couple of years [of retirement]. Ever since then, I probably talk to him every two weeks now. Tom has kept me involved in the program. He calls and asks my opinion on what we're doing. I'm still kind of a Spartan coach far removed."

Three years ago, Heathcote also told ESPN that retirement hadn't diminished his passion for basketball.

"It's different," Heathcote said of his retirement. "I don't think you ever take the coaching out of the coach. I think you adjust to your situation and that's what, maybe, I've done."

Michigan State athletic director Mark Hollis, who was a student manager for Heathcote, said he was one of his best teachers.

"Reflecting on my career and life, Jud was among the most influential people in regards to my preparation for both," Hollis said. "He will be missed, yet his memory will be seen through the many different people he impacted."

One of those people is South Florida coach Brian Gregory, who started his career as a graduate assistant for Heathcote and was promoted within the program before moving on to lead Dayton and Georgia Tech.

"For the first time since I was 25, I won't get a birthday card from him and won't get a call from him after a game, and that really bums me out," the 50-year-old Gregory said in a telephone interview Monday night.

"I'll miss a lot of things, including his humor. It was almost a badge of honor if he ripped you because he was testing you. He was old school, and that's how he showed he cared, ripping you in some way that he thought could drive home a point to make you look at some part of your life."

Heathcote had legendary gatherings with coaches on Friday afternoons -- and sometimes evenings -- during Final Four weekend for two-plus decades before health problems prevented him from traveling.

"It was known as 'Jud's party,' and it became Final Four folklore," Gregory said. "He'd get up in front of everyone and tell a bunch of jokes, holding court for high school, junior college and big-time coaches. They all came to see him. The younger coaches would just be in awe of how he could command a room with that many coaches in it."

During Heathcote's farewell tour during the 1994-95 season, many schools gave him a retirement gift. At Minnesota, he was presented with a stool similar to the ones that coaches would sit on alongside the raised court at Williams Arena.

"I was pleasantly surprised to see that it had three legs," Heathcote joked.

Services will be held Saturday in Spokane. They will be open to the public.

Tobe Hooper obit

Tobe Hooper, ‘Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ and ‘Poltergeist’ Director, Dies at 74

He was not on the list.

Tobe Hooper, the horror director best known for helming “The Texas Chain Saw Massacre” and “Poltergeist,” died Saturday in Sherman Oaks, Calif. He was 74.

The Los Angeles County Coroner’s Office said it was reported as a natural death.

The 1974 “Texas Chain Saw Massacre” became one of the most influential horror films of all time for its realistic approach and deranged vision. Shot for less than $300,000, it tells the story of a group of unfortunate friends who encounter a group of cannibals on their way to visit an old homestead. Though it was banned in several countries for violence, it was one of the most profitable independent films of the 1970s in the U.S. The character of Leatherface was loosely based on serial killer Ed Gein.

Hooper also directed the 1986 sequel “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2,” which took a more comedic approach, as part of his Cannon Films deal.

The 1982 “Poltergeist,” written and produced by Steven Spielberg, also became a classic of the genre. The story of a family coping with a house haunted by unruly ghosts starred JoBeth Williams and Craig T. Nelson. The film was a box office success for MGM and became the eighth-highest grossing film of the year.

After “Poltergeist,” Hooper directed two movies for Cannon Films, “Lifeforce” and “Invaders from Mars,” a remake of the 1953 alien movie.

His 1979 CBS miniseries adaptation of Stephen King’s bestselling novel “Salem’s Lot” is considered by many fans to be a high-water mark in televisual horror. Combining the intrigue of a nighttime soap opera with the gothic atmosphere of a classic horror film, the two-part program was eventually reedited and released theatrically throughout Europe.

He continued working in television and film throughout the 1990s and 2000s, but none of the films had the impact of his early works. His last film, the 2013 “Djinn,” was set in the United Arab Emirates and produced by Image Nation. His other more recent works included “Toolbox Murders,” “Mortuary” and two episodes of “Masters of Horror.”

Among his other works was the music video for Billy Idol’s “Dancing With Myself.” In 2011 he co-authored a post-modern horror novel titled “Midnight Movie” in which he himself appeared as the main character.

Willard Tobe Hooper was born in Austin, Texas and taught college before starting out in documentaries.

He is survived by a son.



Filmography

Film

Year Title Director Writer Producer Notes Ref.

1969 Eggshells Yes Yes No

1969 Peter Paul and Mary: The Song Is Love Yes No No Documentary film

1974 The Texas Chain Saw Massacre Yes Yes Yes Co-written with Kim Henkel

1977 Eaten Alive Yes No No

1981 The Funhouse Yes No No

1982 Poltergeist Yes No No

1985 Lifeforce Yes No No

1986 Invaders from Mars Yes No No

1986 The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 Yes No No Also wrote music

1990 Spontaneous Combustion Yes Yes No

1990 I'm Dangerous Tonight Yes No No Television film

1993 Night Terrors Yes No No

1993 Body Bags Yes No No Television film; co-directed with John Carpenter

1995 The Mangler Yes Yes No Co-writer

1999 The Apartment Complex Yes No No Television film

2000 Crocodile Yes No No

2004 Toolbox Murders Yes No No

2005 Mortuary Yes No No

2013 Djinn Yes No No



Television

Year Title Director Writer Notes Ref.

1979 Salem's Lot Yes No Miniseries

1987 Amazing Stories Yes No Episode: "Miss Stardust"

1987 The Equalizer Yes No Episode: "No Place Like Home"

1988 Freddy's Nightmares Yes No Episode: "No More Mr. Nice Guy"

1991 Haunted Lives: True Ghost Stories Yes No Episode: "Ghosts R Us/Legend of Kate Morgan/School Spirit"

1991 Tales from the Crypt Yes No Episode: "Dead Wait"

1995 Nowhere Man Yes No Episode: "Turnabout" / "Absolute Zero"'

1997 Dark Skies Yes No Episode: "The Awakening"

1997 Perversions of Science Yes No Episode: "Panic"

2000 The Others Yes No Episode: "Souls on Board"

2002 Night Visions Yes No Episode: "Cargo" / "The Maze"

2002 Taken Yes No Episode: "Beyond the Sky"

2005–2006 Masters of Horror Yes No Episodes: "Dance of the Dead"; "The Damned Thing"