Art Metrano obit

Art Metrano, Stand-Up Comic and ‘Police Academy’ Actor, Dies at 84

He fractured three vertebrae in a near-fatal fall from a ladder in 1989 and starred in a one-man stage show about the experience.

 

 He was not on the list.

Art Metrano, the stand-up comedian with a mock magic act who was the butt of jokes as the pompous cop boss Ernie Mauser in the second and third Police Academy films, has died. He was 84.

Metrano died Wednesday of natural causes at his home in Aventura, Florida, his son Harry told The Hollywood Reporter.

The curly-haired Brooklyn native also played Rico Mastorelli, who managed nephew Chachi (Scott Baio), Joanie (Erin Moran) and their rock band, on the 1982-83 ABC sitcom Joanie Loves Chachi, a spinoff of Happy Days.

On Sept. 17, 1989, Metrano fell off a ladder while working on the roof of his Los Angeles home, landing on his head and fracturing his first, second and seventh vertebrae. It left him a quadriplegic, but he made a remarkable recovery and turned his tribulations into a one-man stage show, Metrano’s Accidental Comedy, in which he emerged from a wheelchair to take a few steps.

“He was at the peak of his career when that happened, and then it just stopped,” his son said. “But he managed to enjoy life and overcome adversity.”

His career skyrocketed in 1970 after he performed as The Amazing Metrano for the first time on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. His magic tricks, like making his fingers “jump” from one hand to the other, weren’t tricks at all, but they were accompanied by the self-satisfied Metrano humming, over and over, “Dah-duh-dah-dah, dah-duh-da-da!” from the 1930 song “Fine and Dandy.” Watch his act here.

On Carson, Metrano was told to quickly leave the stage when his act was done because the show was running long. But the host loved the routine, even falling off his chair with laughter at one point, and motioned him to sit on the couch next to him — a comic’s dream come true.

“I took my bow and there was Johnny waving me to his desk. I went, ‘Holy …, I’m going to sit next to Johnny!'” he told Kliph Nesteroff in 2015. “It was a great moment. He really liked my act. He was an amateur magician and loved magic of all kinds. So we talked about that and then he brought me back several times.

“He really loved it and became a big fan of mine. He propelled me and many others into having employment — not even a career — just employment. All of a sudden I was doing all these shows. It was just amazing.”

Soon, Metrano was working in nightclubs all over the country. He appeared on The Dean Martin Show, Playboy After Dark, The Tim Conway Comedy Hour and Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In, and director Elaine May hired him to portray a crummy lounge entertainer in The Heartbreak Kid (1972).

Around that time, he also opened a “New York hot dog store” in Beverly Hills and, with Burt Reynolds, a West Hollywood deli, he told Mark Malkoff in August 2019 on an episode of The Carson Podcast.

The son of a garment manufacturer and a housewife, Arthur Metrano was born on Sept. 22, 1936, and raised in the Bensonhurst section of Brooklyn. He attended Lafayette High School and then played football for the College of the Pacific in Stockton, California.

 

Back in New York, he worked as a comic in the Catskills and studied acting with John Cassavetes and Stella Adler, good enough to be taken seriously in the Sydney Pollack-directed drama They Shoot Horses, Don’t They? (1969).

 

Managed by Wally Amos of Famous Amos cookie fame, Metrano and a friend, future Mel Brooks collaborator Rudy De Luca, were hired as writer-performers on a variety show starring Al Lohman and Roger Barkley that played on California stations after the local 11 o’clock news on Sunday nights. (Also working on the program: Craig T. Nelson, John Amos, McLean Stevenson and Barry Levinson.)

A Carson producer spotted him doing The Amazing Metrano on that and invited him to New York for The Tonight Show.

In 1971, Metrano starred with Dean Jones, John Banner, Huntz Hall and Jamie Farr on a Prohibition-era CBS comedy called Chicago Teddy Bears, but it was canceled after 13 episodes.

He also guest-starred on Mod Squad, All in the Family, Baretta, Ironside, Bewitched, The Streets of San Francisco, Barney Miller, Starsky and Hutch, L.A. Law, The White Shadow and Cagney & Lacey and Hunter, and he played a cop who had suffered a debilitating neck injury on The District, starring his old friend Nelson, in 2001.

In addition to getting an epoxy shampoo in Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (1985) and having his eyebrows ripped off in Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986), Metrano showed up on the big screen in Slaughter’s Big Rip-Off (1973), History of the World, Part One (1981), Breathless (1983), Teachers (1984) and How Stella Got Her Groove Back (1998).

While hospitalized for two months after his fall, Metrano couldn’t move his hands, but his wife brought him a voice-activated recorder. “In 1990, I had all the little cassettes transcribed. It actually made me cry. It was really cathartic for me,” he said in a 2001 interview.

Actor-director Joe Bologna helped him turn those tapes into his one-man show. In a 1993 review, the Los Angeles Times wrote that “playwright Cynthia Lee has sculpted Metrano’s reminiscences into a tight emotional roller coaster that careens between outrageous humor, black despair and ultimate acceptance. A particularly effective sequence revisits Metrano’s fall, when he lay undiscovered for nearly an hour drifting between humorous memories and dawning horror.”

Some proceeds from the play went to charities like Project Spinal Cord that assisted those with spinal cord injuries, and he wrote a book, Twice Blessed, that was published in 1994. He also opened Yogurt Ur Way in Fort Lauderdale.

Metrano filed a lawsuit against the producers behind Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story, a 2005 direct-to-DVD Family Guy spinoff movie, accusing them of stealing his Amazing Metrano routine. He received what he called “a very, very nice settlement.”

Survivors include his wife, Jamie; his first wife, Rebecca; children Harry (and his wife, Melissa), Zoe (Mark), Roxanne and Howard; and grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

“Art would want all of his friends and family to continue to smile when they think of him and to laugh and continue on celebrating life,” his family said.

Filmography

 

    Rocket Attack U.S.A. (1961) - Truck Driver

    They Shoot Horses, Don't They? (1969) - Max

    Norma (1970) - Delivery Man

    Bonanza (1970) - Leroy Gaskell

    They Only Kill Their Masters (1972) - Malcolm

    The Heartbreak Kid (1972) - Entertainer

    Slaughter's Big Rip-Off (1973) - Mario Burtoli

    The All-American Boy (1973) - Jay David Swooze

    The Treasure of Jamaica Reef (1974) - Waiter

    Dirty O'Neil (1974) - Lassiter

    The Strongest Man in the World (1975) - TV Color Man

    Linda Lovelace for President (1975) - The Sheik

    Kolchak: The Night Stalker (1975) - Henry "Studs" Spake

    Brinks: The Great Robbery (1976) - Julius Mareno

    Starsky & Hutch (1976, TV Series) - Amboy

    Warhead (1977) - Mario

    Matilda (1978) - Gordon Baum

    The Incredible Hulk (1978) - Charlie

    Seven (1979) - Kincella

    How to Beat the High Co$t of Living (1980) - Gas Station Attendant

    Cheaper to Keep Her (1981) - Tony Turino

    Going Ape! (1981) - Joey

    History of the World, Part I (1981) - Leonardo DaVinci (The Roman Empire)

    Breathless (1983) - Birnbaum

    Teachers (1984) - Troy

    Tiger - Frühling in Wien (1984) - Tiger

    The A-Team (1985, TV Series) - Nick Gretsch

    Malibu Express (1985) - Matthew

    Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (1985) - Lt Mauser

    Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986) - Capt. Mauser

    The Last Precinct (1986, TV Series) - Mumbo Bob Volcanus

    Beverly Hills Bodysnatchers (1989) - Vic

    Gummibärchen küßt man nicht (1989) - Agent 712

    Hunter (1991) - Bert Nadell

    Toys (1992) - Guard at Desk

    Murder in Mind (1997) - Judge

    How Stella Got Her Groove Back (1998) - Dr. Steinberg

    Good Advice (2001) - Homeless Man (final film role)